Growing Together

Are we doing discipleship right? Is it really best to separate men and women in the process of spiritual growth? Do we miss anything important when we always learn, train, disciple, and retreat in gender-specific venues? Obviously there are important times and places for men to minister to men and women to women. But as a general rule, I believe teaching and training in righteousness was and is best accomplished in the mixed community of the body of Christ.

Men and Women Are Different

Our differences are not all a result of the Fall. Some differences were designed by a wise God and are part of His plan and purpose. Differences not only challenge us, they can also bless us. When we choose to separate the sexes to avoid the challenge, we lose the blessing.

Before Christ came men and women were divided in Jewish training. The biggest issue was probably the fact that the women were not educated, so there were different levels of understanding. Also, there was a cultural division between the sexes that Christ sought to abolish.

Christ’s Example

Paul tells us in Galatians 3:28 that in Christ “there is neither male nor female.” Christ taught Mary and Martha and many other female disciples as they followed Him with the men. In calling women to sit at His feet and follow Him, He was breaking down the cultural practice of excluding women from theological training. When He revealed Himself after His resurrection to a woman first and told her to go tell His disciples, He elevated the role of women to credible witnesses. Prior to that, women were not even allowed to testify in court. Christ was counteracting the effects of the Fall. He was combating the division of the sexes that came about because of sin.

In the Early Church

Priscilla and Aquila worked together to train Apollos (Acts 18:26). Each of them had something to offer that the other could not give. The fact that Paul had to ask the women in Corinth to save their questions until they got home (1 Corinthians 1:34–35) tells us they were together with the men in the churches. But the women needed extra training in order to catch up in their knowledge, having been excluded prior to Christ’s coming. Also, both men and women were included in the lists of believers at the end of many of the epistles, and were commended for their participation in body life.

In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul listed various gifts given to both men and women and he taught the early church that every person and every gift is needed by the body of Christ. When churches separate men and women, or deny women opportunities to use their gifts, the body suffers. If we do discipleship separately, half the church is bereft of the gifts of the other half.

Titus 2 Ministries

But what about Titus 2:3–5, where Paul clearly directs older women to teach and train the younger women? Is this not a clear call for gender-specific training and discipleship? It definitely is, but it is interesting to note the topics to be addressed are all gender-specific topics. They focus on relationships women have and need training for and on specific pitfalls and temptations women face. These things, in addition to general discipleship, need to be taught. So even though this passage encourages and mandates women’s ministry, it does not say all of their discipleship and training must be done by women. Or that once this training is accomplished, a woman knows all she needs to know to be an effective part of the kingdom.

I had an interesting dialogue with one church that was using Woman to Woman, a Bible study I wrote on Titus 2. In researching the Greek word kalodidaskalos, I found that a reasonable alternative translation could be “teachers of beauty.” This particular church did not accept that possibility and decided to rewrite the chapter on “teachers of good things,” interpreting it to refer to doctrine and theology. This would make a case for discipleship for women to be done exclusively by women. But I still contend that Paul would not have needed to coin a new word, made up of the common word for beauty and the word for teacher, if that is not what he meant to say. Most people agree that beauty is a special category women are drawn to. I believe it is part of the way they were created. Maybe women are given the privilege to reflect that part of God’s image in a special way. And the call to be teachers of beauty would simply encourage them to share with one another what they have learned about it.

The Whole Community Disciples the Whole Community

In his excellent book, Ancient-Future Evangelism, Robert Webber calls the church a womb for disciple making. He makes a strong case for the community of a church being the place where people are both drawn to Christ and nurtured to maturity. Small group Bible studies made up of men and women of different ages accomplish a number of key goals. Communities focus more on disciple making than social interaction. Seekers experience Christian faith, love, and interdependency that the Bible teaches and the Trinity exemplifies. Both men and women are free to contribute their gifts and insights. Interaction with both the Word and one another increases and deepens our knowledge of Christ. Inter-generational connections are made and relationships developed. Truth is spoken and lives are changed and enriched.